Stuck on Jacob’s Ladder
I at times feel as though I am stuck on a rung of Jacob’s ladder suspended between heaven and earth, life and death.
Out of fear I dare not move.
I am in limbo.
I fear ascending because that means I am being drawn closer to the presence of God, a place I feel unworthy to be.
I fear descending because that means I am being sent further away from that very Presence that I seek , a place that I am not comfortable being.
So I do not move.
I look up and there are those who are waiting to come down.
I look down and there are those who are waiting to come up.
Neither group seems angry or mad, but both seem to be pondering what I am doing. Why is he not moving?
I myself ponder these things and even forget from which direction I came.
Was I up, coming down or was I down, going up?
All I know is that I cannot move.
If I cry for help will anyone hear?
If I cry for help will anyone answer?
Do I go from where I came, or do I go to where I’m going.
All I know is that I just need to get moving one way or the other, so that others can move as well.
Pondering, what to do…