Stuck on Jacob’s Ladder

Stuck on Jacob’s Ladder

I at times feel as though I am stuck on a rung of Jacob’s ladder suspended between heaven and earth, life and death.

Out of fear I dare not move.

I am in limbo.

I fear ascending because that means I am being drawn closer to the presence of God, a place I feel unworthy to be.

I fear descending because that means I am being sent further away from that very Presence that I seek , a place that I am not comfortable being.

So I do not move.

I look up and there are those who are waiting to come down.

I look down and there are those who are waiting to come up.

Neither group seems angry or mad, but both seem to be pondering what I am doing. Why is he not moving?

I myself ponder these things and even forget from which direction I came.

Was I up, coming down or was I down, going up?

All I know is that I cannot move.

If I cry for help will anyone hear?

If I cry for help will anyone answer?

Do I go from where I came, or do I go to where I’m going.

All I know is that I just need to get moving one way or the other, so that others can move as well.

Pondering, what to do…

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